Invitation to the Dance
Posted by: craigj under Uncategorized
An invitation to a New Year’s Dance
How do you get you going? How do you commit to a plan or set of tasks, get them done, and then move on to the next steps? How do you avoid the “I’ll do it later” syndrome, or the “I’ve gotta deal with these emergencies first” where the former is probably nothing but a stall, and the latter possibly an avoidance.
So let’s have a look at how you get yourself moving this New Year. I’ve identified two little dances, and you can choose between them.
Dance #1 - Let’s call it the Failure Fandango!
I have a picture of an elegant woman in a red dress with castanets, Spanish guitar music, and a dark shadowy partner that I can’t quite make out. They’re dancing around in a circle and they’re doing the Failure Fandango. And I know the dance! Have you ever done it? It goes something like “Darn, that really wasn’t good at all. I’m really awful. I’ll never get it right. I need to look at how dysfunctional I can get and kick myself in the butt so I can drive myself forward.”
What’s powerful about this approach is that every time you fail, you can use this to drive yourself away from the failure point. And you’ve probably done it many times before. You may have been taught to “learn from your mistakes.”
What’s insidious about this approach is that it works only when you fail! It doesn’t work at all if your last effort was pretty successful, unless of course you find the one thing that didn’t work according to plan, and slam yourself for that! Does this ever happen for you? What happens if you do something well, and someone compliments you for it? Can you just say thank you, or do you have to deprecate your way out of it?
Summary: In order to employ this “kick in the butt” motivation technique, you must fail or identify something you did as a failure. Each time you try to move forward with success, professionally or personally, you take yourself out of the reach of the “kick in the butt.” Therefore, if that’s your primary motivation technique, you just don’t dare get too successful. You have to create failure somewhere in order to get yourself going! What a strategy!
Consider that this is kind of a cyclic process - and here are the career steps.
- The kick (ouch!).
- The move forward, one or two steps Olè!
- The full stop. (Discovering that your favorite motivational technique is no longer available)
- The move backward (failure).
- You’re ready to begin the cycle once more.
I have to admit that this sounds a little absurd - why would we do something so elaborate, and something so inconsistent with our best interests?
OK, then try this on. Have you ever heard the lyrics to the Failure Fandango?: “I’ll never get it right”,” I’m no good at that”, “I always mess upÖ”. Have you ever heard this coming out of your mouth? Do these conversations put you back into the Failure Fandango?
Dance #2 - Future Foxtrot!
First, blow off the guitar and the lady in red. We’re going to need some cool jazz, or maybe the choral piece from Beethoven’s Ninth. Now, on a metaphorical chalkboard, draw yourself a picture of a future where things are working well for you. Let it include money, relationship, career, etc. - all the issues or values that are important to you. Leave ancient history out of it - just imagine a spectacular future, and write it down. Call it your vision. Write it down in detail.
The steps to the Future Foxtrot..
- Imagining a desirable future.
- Writing it down.
- Setting up long and short-term goals, waypoints or milestones.
- Getting in action around some of them.
This can really be a fun experience. If you find yourself leaning back towards the Failure Fandango, catch yourself as soon as you hear that music, and see if you can really create a great possibility, a future for yourself that’s spectacular, your own personal “I have a dream”.
We both know that if you create a dream there’s no guarantee you will achieve it; but if you don’t create a dream or possibility, there’s every guarantee you won’t achieve it!
So this is my New Year’s offering to you - creating a future so compelling that you can avoid the Failure Fandango, cavort with the Future Foxtrot and finally achieve what you always knew you could
Ahem! I’d like to offer my coaching services here to those who want to tackle this project but aren’t sure they can make it on their own. I have 2-3 slots open for people in this kind of inquiry - if this makes sense to you, send an email to craig@craigjennings.com and we’ll talk. If you are a little cautious, first go to my website at www.craigjennings.com and check it out - please check out the testimonials while you’re there, and call the people who’ve used me successfully in the past and left you telephone numbers for that purpose.
And finally, my very best wishes for your amazing New Year. Mine’s going to be great, and I hope you’ll dance with me!
